Saturday, May 21, 2011

a tupperware bowl of microwaved baked beans♥

In life I pride myself with being a Mother, a Wife, a Daughter, an Aunt, a Friend & most importantly a Christian.
There is also a list of not so great things that I feel that I can be or have been in my lifetime. Out of all the words I could use to describe myself, I think Sinner can accurately sum it all up.
I am a sinner.
A sinner that until recently never really let the idea of where I might spend eternity creep into my mind. It was always something that lingered around but I felt as if I had plenty of time...
not any longer. 
With recent accusations of the rapture & the end times right around the corner, I have no choice but to dwell on the thought of where my soul will go when that time comes. Although I {in NO way} believe that these individuals can or should try to predict when God will return, you can't help but for the idea to shake you in a way that makes you a little weary of the life you live.
I am realizing that I need to start living each day as if it was my last. I need to read his word & attend church service more. I need to surround myself with people that want to see me in heaven just as much as I'd love to see them. I need to stop letting my temper overpower my good judgment & not allow myself to say things to others or about others when I get mad. I can no longer allow myself  to believe that I give everything that I have to my children when I don't live as a strong Christian example in their lives. Out of everything that I can give them in life; unconditional love, a desire to make the best out of what they are given & a strong faith in the Lord are what I believe to be the most important.
 I have always been very proud of my faith & I have always been a person that would speak to God not only in times of hardship but in times of happiness as well. I still believe that God knows my heart & that even if I don't always live perfectly, he is still on my side. But I also believe that I need to start doing more to insure that when the time comes, whether today or 60 years from now, I am ready to be called home.
I know that only with the grace of God are these changes going to be possible to make in myself. I am not perfect person, but he doesn't expect me to be. I am a child of his & just like I love my own children, I could never imagine the amount of love and forgiveness he holds in his heart for me.
And I am forever grateful for that.

When I say "I am a Christian" I am not shouting "I am clean living."
I am whispering "I was lost, now I am found and forgiven."
When I say "I am a Christian" I do not speak of this with pride.
I am confessing that I stumble and need CHRIST to be my guide. 
When I say "I am a Christian" I am not trying to be strong.
I am professing that I am weak and need HIS strength to carry on.
When i say " I am a Christian" I am not bragging of success. 
I am admitting I have failed and need GOD to clean my mess.
When I say "I am a Christian" I am not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are far too visible, but GOD believes I am worth it.
When I say "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain and I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon HIS name.
When I say "I am a Christian" I am not holier than thou. I am just a simple sinner who received GOD's good grace....somehow.

1 comment:

  1. I am very proud of you!! I feel the same way too, maybe we can help eachother to become better Christians. I love you and I am here for you whenever you need me! I liked the baked beans!!